Tips for Divorcing Parents
Divorce is an extremely painful process. Aside from the separation of two partners, divorce requires you to go through your finances and belongings and quite literally split up what belongs to who. If you add kids to the mix, then the divorce can become even more painful and difficult. At ADLI law, we have lawyers that have worked with various divorce cases and in that time have gained quite a bit of knowledge on what types of actions and environments can help keep this situation as smooth as possible.
Keep it Respectful
Respect is something that is often lost between spouses that are going through a divorce, and while that may be the case at the foundation of it all, it shouldn’t be the case with your children. When you speak with your spouse or about your spouse in front of your children, make sure to maintain some sort of respectful relationship so that the opinion of your partner doesn’t affect the way that your child sees their parent. It may seem difficult at first, but you’ll see that taking this approach could make the divorce more civil than you would have initially imagined.
Try to Be Flexible
Divorce will also bring a lot of meetings and time split between lawyers, courts, and children. During all of this, try your best to be a parent that can be flexible regarding the schedule. This will also play a part in the respect that is maintained for parents in front of children. You’ll see just how much of a difference this makes in co-parenting through and after a divorce.
Enjoy your Time
The time that you spend with your children should not be focused on the issues between you and your spouse or the problems that you’re overcoming in your divorce. Try and avoid talking about the divorce and the different things that need to be done for it, in front of your kids. By doing so, you will see that you are creating a positive environment for your children to spend their time in, which gives them the confirmation that even while things are changing, they are still going to be okay at the end of it all.
Keep Things as Normal as Possible
Things are definitely going to change during this time, but we strongly suggest doing your best to keep things as normal as possible. That means maintaining any schedules that have been routine. For some this also means not immediately moving. While the chances of you and your ex-spouse working things out under the same roof aren’t necessarily likely, having the spouse that has the majority of the custody or that will be primarily caring for the kids, stay in the same house is usually a good idea just to maintain normality.
Counseling can sometimes have a rough stigma surrounding it, especially when the family is going through a tough time. Don’t let the idea of counseling hold you up from doing something that could be extremely beneficial for you and your family. Whether it is you and your ex-spouse that go to counseling, your children in an individual session or going as a family all together, going to a safe space to share emotions can be something that ultimately creates a stronger bond between everyone that is involved.
One of the things that parents most regret about their divorces is that their children get involved in them. These types of issues can take such a large toll on your child that it could affect them and your relationship down the road. Do everything that you can to ensure that the two are separate and that you enjoy and work on the relationship that you have with your children. If you have further questions, the divorce attorney from our Los Angeles office that you’re working with may be able to provide greater insight.